Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Wisdom Of J. Geils

Love Stinks.... duh nuh na nuh na nuh..........

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Life Is Stupid

Hey i remembered the password...

the Florida Diaries? The Terribly Truncated Version? Well i survived several airplane rides, drove a sweet rental, watched my friend get married, drank a whole lot and did some drugs, for some reason didn't bang a bridesmaid, swam in the ocean a few times, ate too much seafood, and spent more money than i should have. 'Rado dudes were cool, Melissa said some funny shit/won the party, Sara was the perfect no-sex date, and the Junior/Dawn combo kinda awesomely subtracted the last 10 years from my memory. All in all it was a great time, i hope the next friend who gets married does so in such an entertaining fashion.

I think i'm gonna take over my mom's business eventually. Not so much because i'm really into the sign/printmaking industry, but because i can't fathom working for someone else for the next 30-40 years until i retire or get murdered. Plus we share the same initials.

Getting drunk and riding bikes is for complete idiots unless you do it on country roads at 4am. Then it's just for incomplete idiots....

Monday, June 9, 2008

Sladest News

Checking in for a bit since i got some time. No one really reads this anyway so whatever.

I actually have a job now, at the Main Street Market in west Belleville. My buddies' dad owns it and was good enough to hook me up with some mostly part-time work(30-40 a week), which, combined with what i do at my mom's place gives me a pretty decent chuck of change at the end of the week. Considering i don't really have any bills to pay right now, i'll take it. Considering the location of this fine establishment, the MILF factor is extremely high which i'm not complaining about in the least.

Went to RED BUD a few weeks ago to hang with the ever-excellent Sara and Mindy Reeble, plus Sara's manfriend Matt and the Reeble parents as well. Had a smashing good time at some sweet dive bar, went to some house party with awkward teens and lots of big trucks, and took a detour to watch huge lightning storms on the way back. Had Heavy Metal Video Breakfast featuring an Enuff Znuff video that i'll never be able to get out of my head even though i can't even remember how the song goes. Hung out with Joey aka the largest cat in the known world. He's a fat motherfucker. Southern Illinois is awesome despite most of the residents sucking wholesale.

Caught the Megabus to chicago last weekend for Punch In The Face's last show, had a blast and saw lots of old friends and whatnot. Stayed at Sears' place, dude is a quality individual and a good friend/drinking partner. Punch In The Face is awesome, sucks i'll have to wait until 2013 to see them again. The other bands were decent, STL dudes were in effect, and the drive to the after-party/after-party was hilarious. Discussing East St. Louis strip clubs with an Austrailian is somethingi never thought i'd find myself doing. All in all it was a good time, even though i dislike the city of chicago immensely. So many good people stuck in such a shitty place. I can't smoke and drink while standing in the same place? Fuck you. Chicago is not America.

Been trying to get in better shape lately, i've cut beer and soda from my diet and been trying to eat healthier in general. I've been riding my bike about 5 miles per day too. It's working, i think. I've been sleeping better too, which means i've been having dreams that i can actually remember. Dreams that make me wish i had a girlfriend. That's really all i need to say about that.

NEXT UP: the Florida Diaries. Hopefully i'll remember most of it...

Monday, April 28, 2008


The Last Fast Year. I had so much fun. It was always sunny. Life wasn't so irritating and crowded.

It was enjoyable. The Last Enjoyable Year.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Vacation Brains

I hit my head at a show earlier. I thought it was during a Black Flag song but i've been informed that it wasn't. I don't remember. This is all going out live and direct.

The Cards still aren't doing too bad this year, despite a few later-inning hiccups. At 12-5, I think they might still be leading the Central, but I'm not sure at the moment and too lazy to look. Albert hit an absolute bomb tonight, into the unfortunately-named(still) "Big Mac Land". Picked up a few RBI's along the way, and was definitely better than the 6-3 groundouts he's been dishing out. Wellemeyer went 7 innings and gave a pretty good account of himself.
I've been trying to figure out with Cardinals outfielder I can identify with most. I decided to immediately eliminate the three big dumb white dudes(Rick Ankiel, Ryan Ludwick, and Chris Duncan), mainly for height purposes and also because their paths to the majors have been pretty typical up to now. Ankiel is a special case but whatever, you don't care or know what i'm talking about anyway. So that narrows it down to 2 guys: Skip Schumaker and Brian Barton.

-Skip is a scrappy white dude who's been up and down between the major and minor leagues, is balding, short, and long been labeled as an underachiever. He also goes by a name which wasn't given to him at birth.
-Barton is a tall-ish black dude with cool hair, a college degree(in aerospace engineering), a winning smile and no experience in the majors prior to this season.

Both are quick baserunners, without much bat power to speak of. Both are decent fielders. Neither would be a starter on any contending team in MLB. So who's it gonna be? Which one of these successful individuals can I equate my life's experiences to???...


The correct answer is Rico Washington. A longtime minor leaguer(11 years to be exact), Rico made the team out of spring training as a utility player only because of the misfortune that befell superior players. Mainly, Brendan Ryan getting hurt and Scott Spiezio getting released for being a drug addict. Rico is not a bad baseball player. He's just not a major league baseball player. Defensively, he can adequately fill any position in the field not including pitcher or catcher, without greatness or distinction. At the plate he is completely overmatched, even by subpar NL pitchers. He's got a little speed, a little pop(he hit a ground-rule double in game 2 of the season), a little height and a little hair. He's a not really a disappointment, since there wasn't a whole lot expected out of him anyway. He's getting his brief moment in the sun before being replaced by better personnel. Such is life, Rico. I feel your pain. Mediocrity is a Stroh's that only the less fortunate like ourselves can truly savior.

There was an earthquake this morning. It was cool for about 20 seconds or so. I told my mom that when it woke me up my first thought was, "I hope an H-bomb went off somewhere". She was unamused. During one of the aftershocks, I ran outside and stood on the ground, hoping to get that "real earthquake feel". I was unamused.

My head, back, and right elbow hurt like hell right now. Apparently no one catches stage divers anymore. Apparently it is easier to stagedive when you do it often, instead of once every 4 years or so. Apparently it pisses me off just thinking about it. Live music should only be enjoyed in the comfort of your own home.

A few(maybe 3 or 4) people wanted to hang out after the show, but due to my (hopefully) temporary brain damage I unceremoniously bailed and had a grand ole time driving home looking thru kaleidescope eyes without the benefits of Lucy's sky diamonds or any other helpers. Promises were made to check on me, so I turned my phone off in hopes of causing seconds of consternation and concern. I'm fine, just check my blog. Honest.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


I continue to type yet for some reason the paragraphs keep spinning around the page as i'm reading it. That makes absolutely no sense.

I had a really great review of the Cardinals' first week but it somehow got deleted and/or lost when my internet connection crapped out. Also, I had a follow-up to the Chicago-Madison trip and a few other musings that are now lost to history. I'm willing to bet that history is better off. So I'll paraphrase:

-the Cards have decided to hang around and give everyone a nice big shitburger to eat instead of embarrassing themselves right off the bat. We'll see...

-Chicago people that I would actually be sad if they died in an atomic firestorm(in Chicago):
Katie Magee
Sara Reeble
Donny Jeffers
Matt Sears
Ryan Leary
Bill Smiles
Mike O'Malley
Tony Pacenta
Mark Hurst
Noelle Zarowny
Jeff Johns
*I had explanations for each but it really doesn't matter.
*I'm indifferent to the fate of various significant others'. Them's the breaks.

-I am a beast in the Metro-East

-Colleen Butterfield is the coolest person I know who lives in California.
-Alena BreaktheYadilolz is the coolest person that i've talked to a thousand times yet i've never met in real life that lives in St. Louis.

-Not working is cool until you realize you've lost most(all) of your social skills.

-Snowflake is back from Thailand for a month which means (a lot)more alcohol abuse. Hail Victory.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Life As One

I'm kinda glad I finally remembered the password to this thing, though it wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world to have one less excuse to not be on the internet.

The Chicago/Madison MC bachelor party trip was this past weekend. I had a pretty good time, I wish I could've seen more of my Chicago friends but there was just too much going on and too much to do. The drive up was slightly uncomfortable due to 5 grown dudes being packed into a Hyundai Sonata, but it wasn't too bad. Inexplicably, we forgot to drink on the way up and I'm sure Dwight Eisenhower is rolling in his grave since we made such terrible use of his creation. That's pretty much the best thing about the US Interstate system. Eaaaaasy drinkability. We were heading up there to see Punch In The Face and the Repos, and managed to catch some other stuff at the same time. Punch In The Face is probably my favorite Chicago band, and they're one of the few latter-day punk/HC bands that still get me hyped up. At the shows I did the retard shuffle where I just walk around back and forth in lieu of having to talk to people. I've discovered (not so recently, either) that I really don't enjoy the whole buddy-buddy community group hug that goes on at shows and that there's only about 7 or 8 people that I'm actually interested in talking to. I'll get surprised sometimes but it isn't that often. I'm not sure if this makes me an asshole or not but I don't really care either way. I did realize that there are a lot of people in Chicago that I kind of miss, too numerous and time consuming to list*. I just wish I could tolerate living there. I also came to the conclusion that Farn's sister is really cute even though she's might be only 18 or 19. Awesome. She also seems to have somewhat decent taste in music, probably better than her brother. Sorry Jim, these things happen. Sara had a pretty decent looking friend too, despite her bloody nose. I felt bad for Aaron who not only barely knew anybody but didn't even like any of the bands. He was a good sport the whole time and I commend him, since I probably would have been Captain Mopes or worse had it been me. Somehow the Colorado dudes (Mike, Mark and Travis) labeled the group the "East Bound Dong Squad", and Travis thusly drew absurd penises (penii?) at every gas station and restaurant bathroom we stopped at. The man has skills, and I'm sure the denizens of Boystown will enjoy his artwork in the Chipotle bathroom at Broadway and Belmont. A "big dick eating a burrito" seems appropriate, or as appropriate as you can get given the situation. Aaron and I rode back to St. Louis with Nick 217 and Diaz, and nothing really notable happened other than Diaz shoplifting sunglasses and offending Nick's code of ethics by attempting to play Skrewdriver on my iPod. Quality dudes. I was glad to sleep in my own bed at the end.

* coming soon. my head hurts. fuck you.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Bryan's Grits

i like beer, baseball, flappers, fast cars and cheap booze. creditors need not apply.